We were not created to say goodbye.
We were endowed by our creator with an eternal nature and an infinite capacity to love. We intrinsically desire eternal relationships, which is why our greatest need is an intimate connection with God and with others. We need relationship with other infinite, eternal beings. This describes our most basic longing.
But since a woman convinced her husband to eat of a forbidden fruit, a curse has been placed upon us. This eternal creation must die. Every relationship on this earth is destined for this one reality. Separation. This could be everything from moving to a different city to the death of a loved one. Everyone leaves.
Sometimes people leave us. Sometimes we are the ones who leave. Either way, this is not natural to our souls, and so we have a negative reaction.
It’s called grief.
Now, the bright side is, God has redeemed us from the eternal weight of the curse, but we are still bound in some ways to the physical plane in which we exist. And that physical plane has not yet been redeemed. One day there will be a new Heaven and a new Earth. But until then …
Those of us who have been redeemed must live with a certain hope, despite what this world attempts to tell us and decieve us into believing. It is right for grief to feel unfair. It is unnatural to our being. But for those of us who are being renewed by a Higher Being, we can console ourselves with the Hope of our Faith. And you know what? That’s not really fair either, because it cost the only Perfect Man his very life, dying in the place of those ensnared by the curse.
So we have a choice. Do we shake our fists or rest in His peace which passes understanding and His hope which can cause such undignified rejoicing? For those with the right revelation, the choice is clear … but never easy. It feels like we are dying, too. And on many levels, we are.
I met Craig Cooper when we were Juniors in High School. We were acquaintances, then friends. We spent time together and lived our youth full of life. We graduated together, and despite what commonly happens to high school friendships, we stayed in touch. We saw each other when he came home from college. I was there when he and the love of his life became more than friends. She was one of my best friends, too.
I was there for his college graduation. I stood next to him at his wedding. I was there at his mom’s funeral. I was there when his son was born.
And its made me realize something. Transition is an important crucible in a friendship. At every major transition time where something fundamentally changes in our lives, we fundamentally change. And it is many times difficult for our friendships to survive.
Many times we regret or grieve the losing of friendships, and many times it is due to our own weaknesses or failings to have balance during those transitions. But those transitions are also a time of refining for friendships. Excess gets burned away, and what we are left with is a treasure beyond compare. Friends who stick around through these transitions are worth more than diamonds or pure gold or platinum.
Craig was that type of friend to me. And his death causes me to grieve and, therefore, to make a choice. It’s not an easy one by a long shot. But the right choice is clear. And either way that choice goes down, on some level I will change. Bitter or better, that’s the choice.
And I have friends in my life that I know will stand with me and stick around through this transition, too, and the next, and the next after that. I will treasure those relationships based on their immense worth. What else do we really have?
And I have another Friend, One who comforts me beyond my comprehension. This change, the perishing of the outward man, serves only to strenthen and renew the inward, which gains treasures for this life as well as the next. And we become better friends, closer than brothers. Because I choose to trust Him that much more.
So I grieve with Hope. Not a hope that wishes, but a Hope that knows and is known.
Love one another. Life on this Earth is but a breath. But if we are blessed beyond this curse, our final transition is only a means to breathing anew.
Peace.
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