There is a popular song sung in many churches. It is upbeat and catchy, and the refrain goes, “I am a friend of God; He calls me friend.” You might even sing it at your church.
You probably shouldn’t. The heart of the song isn’t necessarily evil or anything. The writer, Israel Houghton, is someone I appreciate and have a great live CD of his that is cool. But the heart of the song and the refrain don’t match. I’ll explain.
The verse of the song says, “Who am I that you are mindful of me. That you hear me, when I call. Is it true that you are thinking of me. How you love me, it’s amazing.”
I love it. All good and true. But this is not evidence that I am His frriend but that He is a friend to me.
God has done amazing things for those who would be His enemies. He loves those who have rejected Him, even to the point of sending His only Son to bring grace and truth, to be the Way, the Truth, the Life. All of that and more that I could spend days declaring. But all of that does not make me His friend. That makes him a friend to me.
Some of this comes from taking a verse out of context, which happens all the time. Near the end of the Gospel of John, Jesus says, “I no longer call you servants; I call you friends.” Taken by itself, we can easily sing along with the catcy tune. But maybe we should look at what it really means to be called a friend of God.
First of all, there is another verse in there that helps to quantify what it means. “You are my friends if you do what I say.” That sets up a fairly important condition to be called a friend of God. Here we have that pesky standard of obedience again. Jesus doesn’t say they would be His friends because He loves them or their doctinal stance or their solid theology or how they feel about Him … but based on what they actually do in response to what He says.
Let’s also look at who these people were. In Luke, Jesus says to them, “You are those who have continued with Me through My trials.” They answered the call to give up everything, possessions, family relationships, jobs, all to follow Him and be with Him. When He was returning to Jerusalem, they said, “Let’s go die with Him.” When many left Him after a hard teaching, Jesus turned and asked if they would leave Him, too. They said, “Where else can we go? You have the words of life.”
God takes my burden, sure. That makes Him my friend. But does He share His burden with me? Have I endured with God to see the realization of His Kingdom, to have established what He wants to establish in the earth for eternity? Am I about His business or my own?
These weren’t perfect men, as they were about to prove (especially Peter). But they had endured with Jesus through what He called His trials. Not theirs. His.
Let’s look at Abraham, another man God calls His friend. Abraham “obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would afterward receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents … for he waited for the city which had foundations, whose builder and maker is God.”
Abraham was also severely tested in attempting to sacrifice his only son, and at one point God allows Abraham to negotiate with Him over Sodom and Gomorrah.
I am also reminded of 1 John where he describes the fathers of faith who just “walk with Him who is from the beginning.” They’ve passed the other necessary stages of maturity in Christ to attain a place where they just walk with Him.
Let me summarize what it means to be God’s friend. You have answered an extreme call and completely separated yourself from the things of the world to seek the Kingdom of God without compromise. You have no permanence in this world so you can seek a heavenly and spiritual city. You are consumed with zeal for His house; you are about His business and not your own. You have ceased from your own labors and co-labor with Him. You understand what is important to God. He shares the things that are on His heart with you. You don’t waste time with God asking for things for yourself; you’d rather hear what He has to say. You seek the Kingdom with a settled faith that realizes all other things will be taken care of by a good father. You give your own life no thought. You live a life of obedience and righteousness. You walk by the Spirit.
Let me add another important principle. No one in the scripture ever said it about themselves. No one who is really God’s friend would have to claim it. That is for God to say, not you.
Have you ever met someone who boasted about being someone elses’s best friend? It feels prideful and immodest, at best immature, especially if you know the truth and reality of the relationship. At best it is self-serving, attempting to advance oneself somehow at the expense of another.
Have you ever seen someone describe how great a friend someone has been to them? It is one of the most moving things you’ll experience.
Remember the parable Jesus told about what to do at a great dinner? Don’t sit up near the host, because invariably you will be told to move down for another. You should sit at the lowest place, then the host will call you forward.
There are many things in the Kingdom that we are given by grace and ercy and love and we should claim them boldly and without shame, that God has been our friend. But there are some things you just shouldn’t claim. It’s like the guy who gives out a business card that says, “the Lord’s most humble servant.” You can actually claim some things about yourself that prove the opposite.
I believe that there are some in this life that are friends of God. Most will live and go on to eternity unknown to this world, possibly by a few. Eternity will celebrate these the most. Many that are known are heard but rarely listened to. But the true friends of God won’t say it about themselves. They’re too busy actually dong what He says.
Peace.
You’re right; we used to sing that song at a church we used to be part of, and it didn’t seem quite right; you explained well what made me feel that way.