Dead American

The Lord told me to write a book about love in 2000.  He gave me a clear thesis and structure for a dissertation on the biblical idea of love.

Per my personality, I immediately argued with God.  My excuses were many: there are too many books already on the Christian market, I’m too young, I’m too old, nobody will listen to me, I’ve never written a book like this before, etc.  The most realistic reason I espoused to my Creator was my extreme feelings of inadequacy.  This is too big, I told Him.

If you haven’t figured this out, yet, arguing with God is fairly fruitless, possibly dangerous, and God kept bugging me.

Before we left for our stint in Korea, God told me I wouldn’t leave Korea until I had written this book.  I began at some point, maybe sometime in 2002, making notes, putting together scriptures, but stalled at the end of the first section on Faith.

My inadequacy was even more pronounced when it came to the section on Hope.  Not that I didn’t have hope in me, necessarily, but I didn’t feel as if I understood it well enough to explain it.

So I spent the next couple years asking God to teach me about hope.  I read related scriptures, but most of the section on hope came from personal meditation and subsequent revelation.

But I didn’t finish the book by the time Becca and I were called back to be missionaries in our home country.  I felt a little guilty about this, almost like a failure, but God quickly showed me a couple of things.

First, crying and whining about it now won’t help.  Finish the book.

Second, I did finish writing the book in Korea.  It just wasn’t down on paper yet.

While I’ve been a member of close communities here in the States, and those experiences birthed the theme of the book, our time in Korea and the ministry there among such a close knit community matured some things that were only concepts before into actualized truth.

So the last two years have been spent finishing the book, revising, rewriting, and editing the material.  Then came the daunting task of self-publishing — type setting, creating a cover, etc.

And here it all is.

Some thoughts on the book: It is a little long.  But there was just too much I had to say.  So I did.  My revisions either extended it or just equalized it all out, so I focused more on editing and rewriting.  That kept it a little more concise, but without a more professional editor, which I am not, I did my best to say what was on my heart to say.

The sections on love are really powerful, but the treasure of the book might be the section on hope.  I considered separating the sections into more than one book.  The hope section really could be its own book.  Ultimately, I wanted to stay true to the theme and original vision and accepted one book of bigger scope.  Hope needed to be in the context of the other two, faith and love.

I won’t be making any money off of this book.  All proceeds will go to the Mercy Home ministry in India.  If I sell 100 copies and there’s a decent demand for more, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it with God’s leading.  My heart is not to be a “peddler of the gospel,” so to speak, but it is up to God where all this leads from here.

Any feedback is appreciated.  Leave a comment on the blog or email me.

If the book blesses you, share it.  If you don’t like something I’ve said, contact me about it to explain further or just pray for me.  I need it anyway.

For all those who have encouraged me along the way, thank you.  To Becca especially, I’ll be serving you in heaven, so thanks for your service to me here.

Peace.