Drunken Mystic

Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman is a new book on parenting, training, and child discipline.

I finally got some reading done this week.  And this book was at the top of the list.  I read a review of it in the AJC, and I immediately wanted to read it.

I put it on request at the library … I think I’m still at position forty-something.  So despite my not wanting to spend the money, we bought it. 

Becca read it first, and she handed it off to me.  I read it in a couple days.  It’s almost three hundred pages but a quicker read than you might think.

I’m sure there are several books out there that say much the same thing, but I can highly recommend this book.  Every parent and teacher would greatly benefit from this book, especially if you’re serious about “training your child in the way he should go.”  I will find it difficult to lend this book out because it is worth every penny of the purchase price.

It’s like a little Bible on parenting and child discipline, and I’m not exaggerating.  If you’re of the mindset that “every kid and family is totally different, so there’s no right way,” this book is not for you.  While Dr. Leman acknowledges the uniqueness of every child and shares some of his thoughts as suggestions or his own opinions, he absolutely guarantees that if you use the basic principles he expounds upon, they will work.  I can personally make the same guarantee.

Reasons why I loved this book (and many will hate it):

First, he is clear about the fact of who actually needs to change.  If you want your kids to change, you are the one who has to change.  They got their behavior, good or bad, from you.  This is true in parenting and classroom teaching.  He gives more psychological reasoning for it, but theology supports it as well.  It is your job to train your child, not to just let them grow up and see what happens.  Changing your family culture puts the most responsibility on the adults in the situation, their discipline and willingness to be inconvenienced.

Second, while he is blunt about who actually needs to change, he is clear in his encouragement that the result of establishing these principles in your home results in less stress and more joy in your home.  Your children, despite any age and personality type, CAN be a blessing in your home and to the outside world.

Third, he is all about sacrificing self-esteem for character.  He’s not against self-esteem at all, just against the short-sighted notion that a child’s temporary unhappiness is a bad thing.  Your job as a parent is not to raise a happy child but one of character.  Righteous character creates joy in the family and the child.

Fourth, he makes it sound simple, because it is.  Difficult to change?  Oh, yeah, but the principles are pretty simple.

Fifth, he knows that these high standards in a child’s attitude, behavior, and character will set them apart from the crowd, and even look harsh to many worried about embarassing or hurting their child’s feelings.  You’ll be saying no where most parents are saying yes.  But his goal isn’t about training “normal” kids but excellent ones.

Leman is a believer, but he kind of keeps that in the background until the end when he quotes a couple scriptures (for those of “faith”, he says).

The first 89 pages are the basic principles, a quick and easy read.  The other 200 pages deal with his thoughts on specific issues and problems (mountains and molehills, he calls them).  Still, very good, although not always popular, answers and thoughts.

This was very refreshing to me.  Most American parents don’t think this way, and you see the fruit in their kids.  In some ways this was a great reminder of things Becca and I are already doing, but in some instances we were inspired to go even further and try some new things, raising the bar so to speak.

If you have kids at home or if you are a teacher, I can highly recommend this book.  If you don’t buy or follow this book, you’re not a bad parent, but you can definitely be a better one if you’re willing to learn and be teachable.

Peace.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 19th, 2008 at 1:43 pm and is filed under book reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.